Forbidden Relationships. The Allure
Forbidden relationships can take in many forms where parents who forbid their children from falling in love with the wrong company, friends and family members who disapprove of our significant other halves, or even falling in love with someone who is committed in long term relationships and even marriage life.
These obstacles faced may be explicit or implied and the fact of the matter is, if managed well may actually serve to strengthen a forbidden relationship.
Of course, taboo in general terms can be defined as a “social or religious custom prohibiting or restricting a particular or forbidding association with a particular person, place or thing”. When it comes to romantic relationships, there are so-called rules and guidelines about how to make relationships work, behaviours that are or are not appropriate or acceptable. Let’s explore some of the common taboos before we fall in love:
7 common taboos that affects romantic relationships negatively
Having different hobbies
Myth : It is always good to find someone similar to us so that we have common interests and more topics to talk about
Reality : As with going out separately to social events and the like, it is perfectly fine to have separate hobbies if you choose to do so. Doing things separately can actually be healthy and you don’t have to drag your partner along everywhere you go.
Ignoring each other throughout the day
Myth : Love and affection is not deep enough when you don’t spend every moment possible with your loved ones.
Reality : If having little contact with your partner while you are apart works for your relationship, then let it be. Don’t let others influence you to change what works for you.
Getting real about money
Myth : A guy should be paying for everything in a romantic relationship
Reality : It is important for you to communicate openly about money once you are committed. Talking about money is indeed taboo and may be considered impolite, but by doing so makes you closer to your significant other half forging an understanding on each other’s financial burdens.
Going out and socialising separately
Myth : Once you are in a relationship, everything needs to be done together and even going out should be in a pair.
Reality : If you or your partner attends a social gathering without the significant half by their side, eyebrows will be raised but who cares? It’s actually healthy to do things separately once a while. Don’t forget that you do have a life before getting into a romantic relationship.
Sleeping in separate beds (or bedrooms)
Myth : Falling in love with someone renders the need to spend every moment together, including sleeping together on the same bed while hugging closely to show how much you love each other
Reality : The world is slowly discovering that the popular opinion of spending the night spooning your partner in bed. Having private space allows you to sleep comfortably according to your own style and in return not only improves your relationship, but also the quality of your sleep
Trying out dirty talk
Myth : Dirty talking is a strong reflection of a person’s negative thoughts and a sign of crudeness in character
Reality : If your sex life needs a spark, one of the ways to explore is by dirty talking whilst doing the deed. Dirty talks improve sexual experiences when you let go of your inhibitions by letting your partner know exactly what you want them to do to you and what you want to do to them, giving both of you a new sense of pleasure.
Sexual experiments in other ways
Myth : Sex is fine the way it is without any external help or equipments. Using tools such as sex toys is “cheap” and “dirty” as what whorehouses would be using
Reality : On top of dirty talks, couples can have many other ways in which they can experiment `with toys and other things. Depending on your comfort level and boundaries, things that are considered to be taboo and kinky such as vibrators, dildos, plugs to role playing and costumes can bring your sex life to the next level, keeping it hot and exciting.
So know we know what are the common taboos that manifests in most romantic relationships, what can we do about it?
You have 2 choices – either you go all the way out to avoid these taboos or you can face them and make your romantic relationships better over time.
Most of us tend to choose the easier way out by avoiding these taboos and pretend they don’t exist. That will only then lead these skeletons to be hidden deeper in the closet and when the time comes, it will explode out in the open and leave a colossal trail of destruction to your relationship you will have no other choice but to end the relationship with your significant other half even though you love them deeply to the point of wanting to spend the rest of your lives with them.
Is that what you really want?
Are you ready to face these taboos and make your romantic relationship work? Here are some ways to be sure for yourself:
5 ways to find certainty in you before falling in love and overcome taboos together
Love yourself before loving someone else
As cliche as it sounds, self-love is the number one priority before committing yourself to any form of romantic relationships. We have always been told that our future partner “brings out the best in us”, but not in the sense that you feel nothing when you are without them.
Find out more on how you can love yourself better.
Don’t straight jump into a relationship
The key to good relationship is obviously starting off as friends. Can you truly be yourself with them or are you in just for the lovey-dovey feelings?
This will make all the difference when it comes to starting a romantic relationship and working together to overcome taboos
See if you could accept their hobbies and interests
Respect is the key word here. If you could respect what they are into (unless it’s illegal), then your chances of having a romantic relationship with that person may flourish and blossom smoothy.
You can’t just force each other to “like or unlike” something.
Make sure they are trustworthy and reliable
When they make a promise, do they keep it? Or are they the type who only goes so far to say flowery words and melt your heart? Do they walk the talk? Can you depend on them during times of need?
These are some of the questions that you need to constantly ask yourself and observe the answer carefully before committing in a romantic relationship. It takes effort from both parties to overcome taboos and other problems that you face.
Can you imagine growing old together?
After getting to know them better over a period of time, knowing each other’s boundaries and perception towards taboos in a relationship, ask yourself one final question – can you picture both of you staying in this relationship on the long run and growing old together?
Will they be the one that you wish to wake up by every single morning? Will they be the one that you are willing to spend all your time and effort to cherish and also potentially, a problem for you to solve for the rest of your life?
If you have positive answers in your heart, then you know that you are ready to face taboos in your romantic relationship together.