Long Distance Relationships. Does It Really Work?
Social distancing has transformed the dynamic of countless relationships – platonic and romantic alike. Being able to touch each other physically is either an impossibility or surplus (if you aren’t quarantined alone). For those who are in a long distance relationship before the global COVID-19 virus pandemic started, right now is particularly tough – to set the next reunion date in sight seems impossible until a cure (or at least a way to effectively identify and contain the widespread) is found.
Countless couples have been separated even further as governments race to contain the spread of the virus, limiting movement of citizens to their home countries and even their own homes. Not everyone adheres to this instruction; majority of us feels that this is an intrusion of our privacy and choose to go against it even though we know that this will probably save our life at some point in time yet the thought of being “locked up” is too much to bear.
When Things Go Wrong
You take one last glance around your apartment. Your luggages are packed, passport in your hand and the Uber you booked will arrive in the 5 minutes. Your heart throbs in excitement. It has been 3 long months since you last met John but it felt like 3 years. Every day you look forward to the short moments that you both spend texting and talking to each other, but nothing can replace the euphoria of spending quality time together.
Your Uber driver arrives and you step into the back seat with your luggages safely tucked in the trunk. You pull out a piece of paper; a checklist of what you have planned for this short getaway. It will be a blissful 3 days by the beach, watching the beautiful sunset in the arms of your lover. Walking hand in hand by the shore. Sipping a glass of piña colada by the cafe facing the beautiful ocean, chatting away about what you both went through during each others’ absence. Every mental image of your plan seems so perfect, making you squirm in excitement.
What could possibly go wrong?
A loud abrupt screech rudely awakens you from those wonderful thoughts. The car has stopped dead in its tracks. You look around and the road is filled to the brink. Loud honks can be heard blazing along the street from impatient drivers. Your heart skipped a beat. What’s happening? Your Uber driver turns around with a grim face. “I’m sorry, but we have to turn back. I just heard that all borders and airports are closed and the military is taking the streets. The government just announced a nationwide lockdown and no one is allowed to leave their home”.
Your heart sunk in despair. Your plan for a perfect getaway is completely shattered.
Sounds familiar? You have been planning meticulously for that perfect getaway. It could be a day trip or a long weekend; it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get to spend time with your loved one after being apart from each other for a period of time. The feeling of wanting each other is etched so deeply that every time you miss them, your heart pounds louder than the drums in a rock concert. Finally the big day arrives and BOOM! This happens.
How Can You Make It Work?
Who said you can’t have virtual dates in a relationship? Who said that you must be physically close to each other to enjoy moments together? All you need is a little creativity, a smart phone or a laptop and you can make every night a romantic date night. Take the effort to dress up and take turns to “prepare” nice meals for each other even though you are hundreds of miles apart. You can even “watch” the latest Netflix series together with screen sharing or even flirting in bed with the video on (Do remember to keep the recording safe or you might find yourself being an instant celebrity of a viral leaked video!)
Communicate openly about how you feel; your fears of losing each other, your job security, how you’re receiving flowers and chocolate everyday from a mystery sender or how much you miss each other. Another key to a solid love relationship is having deep, transparent communication with each other. Worry that you may say something wrong? It’s better to be honest than hiding stuff from each other.
Sext, and get addicted with it! Sexting isn’t just about, well, sex. It’s a form of intimacy and an effective way to bond and build trust between lovers. You will not flirt and sext with another person if there are no feelings involved. Writing saucy text brings out your imagination and it’s fun to draft; it’s also an opportunity for you to learn what each other’s preference is in the bedroom. The next time you get together, it’s going to be extra hot from all the wild imagination!
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Not all of us are blessed with the opportunity to be close by our loved ones; being able to hop into our cars and drive for 15 minutes to meet up for a cup of coffee while holding hands and talking about what happened during the day is something that most of us take for granted.
For some of us, playing a voice note on Whatsapp to hear the words “I miss you” or even a short video call over Skype before bed can be a life saver in a long distance relationship. It may be something so insignificant and we won’t realise how much we look forward to it until the time comes when it’s no longer there for us. How can something this small make such a big impact in a long distance relationship?
One Word : Faith
Having faith is the key to keep a long distance relationship strong. When you believe that everything you go through now is temporary, you will strive to look for the rainbow after the storm. When you completely trust your partner’s love for you and giving the same amount of trust to your partner, you successfully build loyalty. Temptations are always around us yet because of the strong faith that you have towards your relationship and your partner, you are protected from making stupid decisions and getting cheap thrills.
When you have faith, you will go beyond the extra mile to find ways in keeping your relationship alive.
Remember – if it’s worth it, go all the way out for what its worth. At the end of the day, you only reap what you sow.