Virtual Love. Possible?
Gone are the days where fostering a romantic relationship with someone online was considered a taboo. Technology has entwined so deeply in our daily lives, there isn’t a day that goes by without us using any form of technology to either improve ourselves, make our life convenient or even enhancing our knowledge with the vast information available at the click of a few buttons.
With technology at our disposal, naturally we will tend to seek out more life comforts and convenience, even to the extent of seeking for love. Dating apps have normalised with the usage of the Web to find love and you know that opening up yourself online (to a certain extent of honesty) can also come with some serious risks.
3 things you need to know about falling in love virtually
It’s a fast connection
Despite the current atmosphere of distrust, falling in love sight unseen has been happening for centuries. The Web has only made it easier.
Some believe that communicating online before meeting in real life can actually foster strong relationships by helping those with similar interest, or the ability to choose someone based on specific criteria come together over great distances.
Current online technologies giving us video chats and instant messagings enables having a connection that is faster since the theories of time and distance no longer applies in the virtual world.
Finding someone like you
Many of those who fall in love online starts with one common point – they are selective on where they wish to start seeking for their potential significant other halves.
Niched dating apps such as JDate and Toffee helps you to be selective on the basic traits of the person you wish to meet. Having the ability to choose the basic traits proves to have a higher chance of successful requited love, even if it’s with someone that you have never met before simply because you have topics in common.
Love can be blind – literally
When you get rid of all the stress attached to face-to-face meetings, people feel more free to open themselves up and get to know the other person better.
Meeting someone virtually gives you the opportunity to asks personal, or even sensitive questions, that you normally will not ask face-to-face over dinner in a fancy restaurant. This is important for some of us, especially when we have high expectations towards romantic relationships and hearing the answer can help to determine the outcome of what we want from the other person.
Unfortunately, finding love can be hard, which makes it tempting to pursue connections that might not be as sound as you think they are. Dating apps undeniably have made our seek for love easier, but it also creates a paradox effect by giving of the illusion of many choices while in actual fact making it harder to find viable options.
When we are overwhelmed with choices to make, eventually it leads us to make the easiest available choice, and most of the time these choices may lead to a less desirable result. For many, the attachment to a person despite never meeting up is really about the desire to be loved and because of the “easiest” choice made, the person that we fall for may not necessarily be the type of person that we had in mind initially.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, but be ready for complications to arise over the span of time when things get deeper between the both of you.
3 things to keep in mind when virtual love moves to the next stage.
Idealisation versus reality
During the journey of finding virtual love, the Web gives us the opportunity to pare away interpersonal distractions and focus on communicating openly and honestly.
With open communication in place, we tend to develop in our heads impressions of what we think that person is like, even though the realities of communication does not reflect that. Without being able to spend time with someone in real life, it could be easier to fall in lust or fall in love with an idealised version of love.
When you decide to bring your relationship to the next level and finally meet up in person, be ready to accept the fact that the person standing right in front of you is totally different from the person that you have been talking to for the past few months.
“Catfishing” goes mainstream
Of course, not all love affairs found online pay off as well. The Web is a huge goldmine for many who uses unscrupulous methods and means to earn money, including messing around with emotions or doing it for the fun of it.
Often we hear of people parting away with their life savings from scammers who pose as the “perfect” lover online, and these stories never seem to end. For some, monetary gains is not their main objectives but the pure joy and fun of creating misery for others by giving them hope and taking it all away in the blink of an eye. The object of one’s online affection isn’t real doesn’t mean that one’s feeling isn’t.
Don’t be shocked and surprised that the person you have been chatting and video calling disappears without a trace after standing you up on the day that you are supposed to meet for your first date.
To have and to hold
Every couple who find true love from virtual starts have one integral thing in common – each and every one of them eventually met up in real life to solidify their relationship.
If you feel that you are starting to fall for that someone from a dating app, it’s very important to have real life meet ups to see if the fantasy matches the reality. In all reality, the thing that attracts you the most all along is the heart of the person that you learnt to grow fond by having constant, open communications and daily video call sessions which is incredibly beautiful. When you finally meet in person, you must be able to see the same (if not, better) beauty radiate through the other person’s eyes and smile.
There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone and developing an attachment to them online, but make sure you are not rationalising an irrational situation. And as scary as it may be to think of the person may potentially be catfishing you, don’t let your fear get in the way of following your gut.
Anyone with good intentions will be more than willing to come out from behind their screen to solidify your relationship face-to-face.