FWB : Freedom or Curse?
Every now and then we will hear these terms appear in our lives : “Friends With Benefits”, “FWB” and many other terms coined by people around us. Different as they may sound, they all lead to the same objective – having a friend in our lives that may return a sexual favour with no commitments and strings attached. You may meet up casually over a cup of coffee in the morning, head over to their place and have an amazing time together having sex and when you’re done, you continue to live your daily life with no obligation to check on each other with mushy texts or calls.
Living in this lifestyle may seem like a dream come true for most of us; not having to worry on booking flowers for Valentines day or having a special calendar to remember important dates such as anniversaries and making sure every year different plans are made to celebrate. This may seem like the perfect kind of relationship that gives you the freedom to mingle around and still get some action to satisfy your needs; but at the end of the day when you tuck yourself to sleep, alone and feeling lonely does it then become a curse?
FWBs At The Workplace. Good Idea?
Wendy joined the company 3 months ago. She is an intern in your marketing department, and you being the most senior in your department is assigned to be Wendy’s mentor. Wendy is an eye candy; slim with a voluptuous figure and knows how to dress well to show her assets even more. Her “decent” work clothes involves showing a generous amount of her deep cleavage matched with pencil skirts of different colours wrapped tightly around her cute ass and finishing off with 3 inch heels. She had the figure of Athena and countless men will die just to get a chance to make love to her and she is assigned to spend most of her working hours with you.
During the first two months of working together, you had so much trouble concentrating in work because you were too occupied checking Wendy out, taking in all the wonderful glory of her beauty and having mental images on what you wanted to do with her. To make matters worse, Wendy realised it and she seemed to enjoy the attention; leaning over on purpose when she catches you gazing at her twin peaks or sitting closely beside you during lunch that you can smell her perfume while talking about work.
“Matt, we need to talk. You do realise I’m married right? Why are you checking me out?” Your heart stopped for a moment. Wendy was staring dead into your eyes, expecting an answer. You didn’t expect her to throw that question so bluntly and you are taken aback in shock. Both of you just finished working on a proposal for a business pitch tomorrow morning and it’s 21:00. “I’m sorry Wendy. I can’t resist. You’re just so beautiful I can’t help it!”.
The next thing that happened was beyond your wildest imagination. Wendy jumped into your arms, grabbing your hair while kissing you deeply. Clothes were thrown on the floor in haste and Wendy whispered softly “Matt, I need you deep inside me tonight. Make me the happiest woman alive”. This is it. Your moment of glory. All the times of working together and building that friendship off work with Wendy has come to this.
It was the most amazing sex you had for as long as you can remember. Wendy was lustfully wild and by the time both of you were done, you were panting heavily in satisfaction; trying to catch your breath while hugging Wendy tightly in your arms.
The next morning, Wendy comes to work as usual. You are unsure on how to deal with her after what happened last night. Will she make a harassment claim on you? You can’t afford to lose your job. Not after all the years of effort put in. She walks straight up to you, pulls you into the pantry and whispers “Matt, last night was amazing. Let’s do it again when we have the opportunity. Don’t worry, I don’t need anything more from you than this. This is our little secret.” She winked slyly and walked away.
As much as we hate to admit it, there will always be that “friend” in our life that we feel exceptionally comfortable with; being able to talk about everything and anything from work to our personal lives; to makes matter worse this “friend” is usually of the opposite sex. The friendship is so pure that we don’t have to hide anything and just be ourselves. Most of the time, this “friend’ comes from our workplace due to the fact that we spend most of our time of the day at work and because of that, we look forward to go to work everyday just to spend time with that “friend”.
When Do Things Get Out Of Hand?
In an open relationship with no strings attached, everything can be at risk if things don’t work out as planned. Some may lose their jobs, some may even lose their marriage. Yet, most of us succumb to the temptation of getting sexual benefits from friends with some level of emotional risk.
Sometimes, two people will verbally agree that their relationship is only friends with benefits like Matt and Wendy; but there are more woman who say that they are okay with being friends with benefits than woman who actually are okay with being friends with benefits. When do things really get out of hand in this relationship?
The trouble starts when one party begins to catch feelings
3 Signs That The Relationship Stays As Friends With Benefits
MIA on holiday seasons
On Valentine’s Day, birthdays and Christmas, you spend your time alone. If the relationship is headed somewhere, both of you will acknowledge those days and make extra effort to do something special.
Not spending romantic time together
Meeting up over coffee and chatting happily away without holding hands. Watching a movie together while eating separate popcorns. No calls or text to check-in to see how each other are doing; telling each other how much you miss them. These are all obvious signs that the relationship is going nowhere further than “just friends”.
You only get together for hookups
You don’t meet and hang out with each other’s friends and family. You don’t involve each other with important people in your lives. You don’t take the effort to know each other better and being a part of each other’s life. The main event in your relationship is simple – meeting up and having sex.
Friends with Benefit Or Romantic Relationship?
If you’re honest with yourself, you will know how you feel. If love is what you seek for, having a blissful relationship involves more than just hooking up and having sex. If your career and marriage is present in your life, you know how to make the right decision.
Having friends with benefits in our lives may seem to offer freedom to choose, yet at the end of the day you must remember to not look back at the choice that you made.
Once you have made a choice, stand by it and go all the way out to make it right